TITLE: Not Straight Not White Male
ORIGIN: Los Angeles, USA
RELEASE: December, 2012
DESCRIPTION BY AUTHOR:
I wrote this zine because there is a lack of media that I can really, truly relate to. It is glaringly obvious that this radical scene is comprised mostly of heteros, of whites, and of males. I am Asian, I am hella gay, and I am female.
Disclaimer: I wrote this for me a lot more than I wrote it for you. There is a lack of solution offering, and at the same time a lot rambling, because it is cathartic for me. It is highly anecdotal; I write from experience. Don’t assume that my aim is to educate ignorant fucks. It is not my job to cry and bleed so that they can fucking evolve.
Always for the greater gay,
ROSI, IN HER OWN WORDS:
I am Vietnamese-American, female and hella gay (also vegan, straightedge, intersectional-feminist, anti-theist/agnostic and non-pacifist). So this is written from that perspective.
POCZP REVIEWS ‘NOT STRAIGHT NOT WHITE NOT MALE’
By Joyce Hatton, POCZP Midwest Coordinator
Yesterday I was leaving the gym with a friend of mine, and we were debating the existence of the “Lobster and Lefse Festival.” I said “But it’s a whole weekend! How can you make a whole weekend out of lobster and lefse?!” Two older white women started chatting with us and assured us that it was a real thing, and yes, it was a weekend long. It was a friendly chat until one woman said “Here in North Dakota we can make a weekend out of anything,” and suddenly my friend and I weren’t laughing.
It hurts when people assume that I’m not from here, that their culture is not my culture. It burns, because I know the only reason they think that is because I’m black. I am steeped in Uff da culture, this is my home, but I am always treated as in outsider in my home.
I recently read “Not Straight Not White Not Male” by rosi, and it was a balm to my irritated soul. In the disclaimer she said “I wrote this for me a lot more than I wrote it for you. There is a lack of solution offering and at the same time a lot of rambling, because it is cathartic for me. Don’t assume that my aim is to educate ignorant fucks. It is not my job to cry and bleed so that they can fucking evolve.”
rosi addresses many issues, her relationship with her mother, who rosi sometimes felt embarrassed by, because of her mother’s lack of assimilation into American culture; privilege; a desire to be white/internalized racism; becoming comfortable with her Asian identity; misogyny; animal rights, and more. rosi writes about these topics very honestly and with so much anger, but amazingly, no bitterness. It was very helpful and eye opening for me to read, as I struggle with many similar issues.
I think that, in addition to “just” being cathartic, zines such as this contribute to a person’s growth. For a person of color to admit to themselves that they want/had wanted to be white is a huge thing, and to share that with someone else is so powerful. Internalized racism is partnered with shame, and so to be able to open up and communicate about these issues, and learn that other people feel this way to, is a huge step to decolonizing the mind.
In “Proving Myself: as an Asian and as a Female” rosi shares the way her thoughts influence her actions. For example, if a man notices them checking the oil level in her car, she will go buy oil and add some, just to show the man that, yes, she, a woman, knows how to replace her oil! It seems that rosi has had her competency called into question so often that she feels the need to preemptively display her ability. It is so unfortunate when we modify our behavior to suit or defy those people, because that means we are less free. We think we are defying the bigotry, but really it is winning because we are still letting it control us. rosi knows this, and as she noted, she offers no solutions, but it’s a big, wonderful deal to know you’re not alone in that struggle.
CONTACT ROSI + ORDER NOT STRAIGHT NOT WHITE MALE
ORDERING NOTE FROM ROSI:
- i won’t charge you if you live in vietnam.
- if you need a shipping option for your country added, let me know
- real-life friends, you don’t have to pay me, doopies.
- can’t afford it? wanna trade for your zines? message me
- if you want a pdf instead of a hard copy, message me before even adding it to you cart.
- infoshops, distros, galleries; let me know in what spaces you plan on hosting this zine
'NOT STRAIGHT NOT WHITE NOT MALE' CONTENTS
“And Ode to Chinkophiles: Y.e.l.l.o.w.F.e.v.e.r”
”Chauncey: This fucking guy” - a detailed account of the wildly inappropriate escapades of a middle-aged white man projecting his yellow fetish onto yours truly
“I Have Discovered the Words with Which to Express my Visceral Resentment of White Cockiness” - where I bitterly examine my aesthetic inferiority complex
(^ and a follow-up clarification on the preceding essay)
“Sorry, Mom” - being vietnamese-american in america can be fucking irritating..
“Pre-Gay” - some things i want to say to old friends and family
“But Really, Come On, You Surely Know By Now” - about the differences in expectations in ‘female’ attire and aesthetic and ‘male’ attire and aesthetic
”Dysfunction Over Fashion” - how my boi-complex fucks with my wardrobe choices
“Proving Myself: as an Asian and as a Female” - where I discuss, shortly, my relentless need to prove to everyone that I can be “better” than my stereotype
(^ and a follow-up clarification on the preceding essay)
“Your Masculinity is Under Attack: In response to the new onslaught of ad campaigns that perpetuate sexism under the guise of ‘making fun of sexism through exaggeration’” - an obnoxious, satirical piece
“A Documentation of Vocalized, 21st Century Gendered Bigotry” - where i list just a few months’ worth of sexist, patronizing remarks
“A Documentation of Vocalized, 21st Century Racial Bigotry” - where i list some racist remarks I’ve received throughout my life
“Not Asian Enough / Too Asian: month one - working in a Vietnamese restaurant couched in white O.C.”
”Broken” - a weird arty thing symbolizing South East Asian-American diasporic identity crises idk
“E.S.L.” - short and dry. about my being a 1st generation American in my family and not understanding American customs
“A/S/L? 13/M/CA” - a short essay about how i used to create online role-playing characters to live out my dreams and escape my identity
”Don’t Tell Your Parents I Think They’re Racist: (unless I’ve asked you to)” - PSA to white allies. In summary, don’t decide for me when I should have race talks/race fights, and don’t decide for me which relationships I must now compromise for the “greater good”
“White People Making White People Jokes” - where i discuss why i don’t think it’s always appropriate
”Sup, Hypocrites” - shortly addressing skinny-shame, prude-shame, and femme-shame
”Microcosms of Patriarchy” - hiding from the world in the radical scene does not mean hiding from non-consensual, intimate contact, unfortunately
”Being Conscious of Womanhood” - an analysis of the unconscious things i do because i am hyper-aware of what it means to be a woman in this society
”On Privilege, Allies, and Bitterness” - me listing and rambling for a page about the aforementioned topics
“Cathartic Vomit” - me being pissed about this and that
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